I’m tired of …
… holding in my stomach as if that makes a difference.
… being hot and sweaty all the time.
… not fitting into regular seats and trying not to touch the person next to me.
… wondering if today is the day I’ll run into an old boyfriend or someone from high school and be mortified.
… that shocked look people give me when we haven’t seen each other in a long time.
… being invisible.
… being apprehensive about eating in public.
… ugly clothes. ugly shoes.
… fat ankles.
… never swimming because I’m uncomfortable in a swimsuit in public.
… feeling on display at the beach around all the skinny people.
… being too large for some stores’ clothes.
… taking time to put on nice makeup, and having it all disappear into my fat face.
… being filled with hope while trying every new diet or exercise plan.
… people saying “just eat less and exercise more!”
… dreading every doctor’s appointment because of “the talk.”
… living in an area where most people are skinny.
… high blood pressure and cholesterol.
… being “the fat one” in any group.
… people being on the verge of telling a fat joke then looking at me and awkwardly stopping.
I’m so very tired of being fat.